I read somewhere once that we are merely caretakers of our children’s lives. We have them for a few precious years where they trust us implicitly, are dependent on us for love, care, support. And then it all changes. They want to do things for themselves. They start to have their own opinions, beliefs, aspirations, goals. And ultimately their own lives.
Which makes the first few years even more precious. My baby, Marcel is ONE this week. No longer an infant. No longer waking during the night. Starting to stand and will soon take his first steps. Saying “Dadda” and “Hi”.
My eldest, Xavier is three and already asserting himself as an individual in his own right. He knows what he likes and doesn’t like. He prefers Daddy to Mummy (most of the time). He wants to go to the toilet on his own, put his shoes on himself, and pick his night-time story. He loves going to preschool, and doesn’t like telling me anything that happened that day (“what did you do at school Xave?”, “We played Mum, that’s all”). He loves dinosaurs, animals, riding his bike.
I still remember vividly when both boys were born. That feeling when you hold your baby for the first time. They were so alert, eyes wide open, staring at the world (and YOU). I love the squishiness of a newborn. The way they smell. It’s just so precious.
And whilst there is part of me that finds it so sad that those baby days are over for both my boys, the older the boys get the more exciting motherhood becomes for me. Seeing their little personalities emerge. The changes to the way they look. Their likes and dislikes. What kind of person they will become. (I just hope they are kind and happy). I’m excited to see them grow and develop.
But as I head towards the weekend and Marcels birthday, I’m going to hug my boys tighter. Consciously take snapshots of their interactions, the funny things Xavier will say and the concentration on Marcel’s face as he tries to stack blocks. Because it is all going to be over in an instant. And I want as many memories of these days as I can get.
My Neo Life